"In our first meeting Joseph helped me to see the true causes of my problems, the causes that dwelled within me - my relationship to myself. He soon initiated me into the path of self-love, which has drastically altered all the important relationships of my life in such a positive way that I could have never imagined."

- Robert Lee Camp

Mama's Boys & Daddy's Girls: Their Relationships

Relationships between Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls have significant challenges! It's very difficult to have a good relationship when you need something from your partner that your partner cannot give and that is inappropriate for him or her to try to give as well.

It seems cliché to say that your wife is not your mother or your husband is not your father but many are living this confusion. Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls either try to get from the spouse what they didn't get from their parent or they try to get the spouse to give them the feeling they got from interactions with their parent.

A Mama's Boy is looking for a feeling of power through his relationship with women; however this manifests behaviorally. He may need continual reassurance from women of his masculinity even when his actions are less than effective. He may need to continually seduce women or abuse them or dominate them. He may feel more powerful by blaming women for his failures. "It's not my fault! It's hers!" But, however it looks, when a man needs reassurance of his masculinity from women, he resents them when he gets it.

How's this for a formula for relationship failure: If you don't give me what I want, I'll resent you. But if do give me what I want, I'll resent you! Make me feel like a man or I'll resent you but if you make me feel like a man, I'll resent you because I'll know that my masculinity depends on you!

A Daddy's Girl feels like a woman, perhaps even feminine, when she takes care of a man. Taking care of the men in her life makes a Daddy's Girl feel worthwhile and that her life has purpose. It can make her feel competent and powerful. There is confusion in this arrangement, however. What a Daddy's Girl is really doing is taking care of her man the way a mother takes care of a small boy. It's easy to be confused about the fine line between "woman" and "mother" when taking care of a man includes taking care of him sexually and/or stroking his masculinity in any number of ways. Eventually she resents him because all the energy that goes into taking care of him, without receiving enough care in return, drains her dry. And, the not receiving enough care in return has as much to do with her as it does with him. How many Daddy's Girls just "do it" themselves, rather than ask for help? It's a vicious cycle. Spoil your man so that he doesn't have to think to volunteer to help but refuse to ask for his help as well.

The formula for relationship failure that a Daddy's Girl offers is this: I need to take care of a man to feel like a woman but I don't respect any man I have to take care of! I want a big strong man to come along to take care of me but I'm only attracted to men I can take care of or, even, dominate!

So what is a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl to do when they are in a relationship? Each needs to work on him or herself. We've laid out the ground rules, so to speak, for healing the particular relationship issues between Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls in other parts of this web site. Those ground rules are:

  1. Growing self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-love.
  2. Each taking responsibility for his or her feelings, actions, and life-circumstances.
  3. "Taking" our parents. Men taking their fathers, their connection to the masculine field and women taking their mothers, their connection to the feminine field.
  4. Addressing systemic entanglements that free us from unconscious family dynamics, allowing the love to flow more freely through the family system.
  5. Men connecting with other men and women connecting with other women.
  6. A man expresses his masculinity with women, but he refreshes it with other men. A woman expresses her femininity with men, but she refreshes it with other women.
  7. Making a spiritual connection with God, a Higher Power, a spiritual community as we realize that the true source of power and fulfillment lies beyond us.

The healing that results in men and women, who are Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls, being able to meet as two whole adults ready for a powerful, fulfilling, exciting relationship is a journey that has already begun if the information at our website has spoken to you and your soul.

Beginning next summer 2006 Joseph and Sarah are available for workshops and seminars on the subject of Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls: from Frustration to Fulfillment. In the mean time, an excellent place to begin is with a session by phone with Joseph, who has the tools to assist you in growing the self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-love necessary for this powerful and fulfilling journey.

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