The following list gives you seven ways to say “I love you” to your beloved in the form of taking action! Have fun with them!
1. Resolve to understand that your partner is a reflection of you. Whatever you like or do not like about him or her, it is in you too.
2. Resolve to take 100% responsibility for everything that shows up in your relationship. Either consciously or subconsciously, you are creating your relationship. To begin to make positive changes, accept that and realize that everything that shows up in your relationship is your creation.
3. Resolve to be an adult with your romantic partner, rather than a child seeking a parent or vica versa. Usually we start out as a pair of adults when we fall in love. As we become more committed to each other and feel more like each other’s family, we tend to project expectations on to one another that actually are between us and our parents. Remember to show up as an adult in love rather than a needy child.
4. Resolve to listen carefully and deeply with your ears and your eyes before speaking. Many disagreements between couples occur because we only listen with our ears, refuse to pay attention to other signals, and then trespass on our partner’s feelings because we did not pay attention.
5. Resolve to choose a more positive feeling/memory/attitude during a fight, rather than escalate the arguing. It’s so easy to perceive each other as the enemy when you are simply too people in love who sometimes make mistakes. If you can remember this and stop perceiving each other as the enemy, communication will improve.
6. Resolve to appreciate each other’s sense of humor and learn to laugh together freely and often. When we perceive each other as the enemy, it’s hard to appreciate each other’s sense of humor. You can find yourself tolerating his jokes or her innuendos out of resentment and lose out on the opportunity to express and grow more joy together.
7. Resolve to accept your own and each other’s parents as they are, appreciating the fact that you have each other to love. This one almost requires a whole book, of which many books have been written! It occurs in ours (www.GettingBacktoLove.com) as well as a number from the Systemic Family Constellation professionals (see www.SystemicFamilySolutions.com). The short version is this: if those in-laws, who may drive you crazy, hadn’t given birth to him or her, you would not have him or her to love!
Say “I love you” with one of these actions steps today and watch it make a difference for you!