This week I’ve been reading Yehuda Berg’s “The Spiritual Rules of Engagement: How Kabbalah Can Help Your Soul Mate Find You.” Whether you are single or married, it’s WONDERFUL! Of course, for me to say that you can safely assume I find it to be in alignment with my own philosophy about life and relationships.
Kabbalah is the foundation of Jewish mysticism and is several thousand years old. I haven’t read or studied it for myself and am dependent on Yehuda’s interpretation. But it seems that the things that apparently divide the sexes, that set us up for sexual tension, misunderstanding, and irresistible attraction date back to the beginning of time. Which makes sense. Men and women existed long before writing, much less analyzing, lived and breathed among us.
One of Yehuda’s pieces of advice is that women should never believe what a man says but pay attention to what he does. Men just don’t process their world verbally the way women do. Their brains are not wired for it. The fact that our brains are wired so beautifully for verbal expression is as much a curiosity to them as it is curious to us that their brains are not beautifully wired for verbal expression!
Men express their love and passion through action. So if you pay attention to what he does, chances are you’ll receive volumes of “words” from his heart.
He refers to the Light the way others would refer to Christ consciousness or to God or to the Soul. He cautions women against giving away their Light too freely. When a woman gives of herself in a simple kiss, much less with her whole body, when she has just met someone and has no idea as to whether he is “the one” or worthy of her, she’s giving a piece of her soul away.
The Kabbalah suggests (perhaps actually teaches) that all the power in the relationship belongs to the woman. It’s a great blessing and a huge responsibility. I advocate that women read the many books available today (including my own! www.GettingBacktoLove.com) to discover what makes men tick. And then actually USE the information for your benefit, for his benefit, for the benefit of the relationship, and for your children’s benefit!
Too many women read or scan relationship books, decide what they do and don’t agree with, and toss them aside. I say, “Put it into practice! Make putting relationship advice into practice part of your spiritual discipline. Get out of your comfort zone, try some new ways of being, and see how much fun a marriage can be!”